Life has been crazy lately.. Just returned for almost a week in Singapore. It was lovely to get out of this city and into a warmer, even cleaner and definitely greener one. Plus the food! Oh the food! Yes this week I’m feeling like a fat cow but last week.. it was worth it!
Not long til Christmas and I’m looking forward to heading back to Canada for the holidays.
I’ve decided that I’m being unhealthy in terms of holding onto the faint idea that relationships that I had or almost had with people could magically start working again. This brings out my super insecurities and basically turns me into a big old insecure mess. Hot right? I don’t like how I feel like I’m subtly trying to talk guys into liking me. That’s demeaning to myself and putting myself in a weak position.. where I feel I don’t belong or shouldn’t belong.
So I’m going to try a new approach.. I’m going to get back to working on being content with my life as it is.. dealing with the things on my plate right now and making sure that I don’t settle for people or a person who doesn’t truly love me back.
And if that person doesn’t show up.. well I know I’m going to be okay.
I think I believe that.
I made the decision to stop looking for a romantic relationship a couple months ago. I quit plenty of fish and decided against trying Eharmony again. I found this amazing website called Onely (www.onely.org) that talks about positive singlehood. I recommend it. I’ve decided I’m not going to really date anymore…if someone awesome comes along and we hit it off then great, but dating for the sake of dating is exhausting and depressing. My life is great, so honestly, I don’t care if I stay single. I have a great deal of love in my life, not the kind Hollywood tells me I need, but I don’t believe Hollywood anyway.