Italian Dinner Tonight!

Well I survived the week which also included being observed by my Department Head. I hate being observed but it has to happen and I think it went rather well. Although at one point my most feisty student picked a fight with the Dept. Head which was interesting. I’ll get the results next week I think.

Went for drinks last night with the peeps from work. I hate how one always seems to turn into eight but it was a good time. Plus Adam.. the big aussie guy who acts really strangely towards me, was there and was nice and happy and invited us over for dinner this week sometime. So.. progress! It was a fun night out but not too crazy and I was in bed “at a reasonable hour”.

I’m off to Bologna in a few minutes. Just a whirlwind in and out experience but I think seeing as I love Italian food.. what better place to go for dinner than Italy?

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The Problem with Fun

Written some time ago…

I tell everyone it’s just for fun and that I’m okay with “fun”.

After all, who wants a high-pressure, serious situation?

Fun is fun but at the same time it hurts me and makes me want the real thing even more than I think I already do.

Fun screams over the laughter: You want more than this!

Fun touches you with empty hands and its meaningless caresses create a deeper void than the one you had before you started.

But the real problem with fun is that this supposed “fun” is something that you have brought upon yourself.

You know he does not love you, but part of you wishes he did.

Part of you hopes he might but another part knows that if he does–

You will have to walk away because that is not how this game is played.

You tell yourself that you are okay with fun, with this,

But then you close your eyes when you kiss him and you imagine for a split second that he means it and when you open your eyes to see that he doesn’t– the pain is sharp and real.

But you can’t complain because this is fun, remember?

You did this to yourself.

You lied to yourself.

Now you need to deal with it.

Nice Nice

Nice was… nice. Yes, you could all see that coming and while it’s a fairly lame adjective to use, it’s actually quite accurate. Nice is nice and there are some beautiful parts to it but it’s also somewhat faded and looks like it just needs to be scrubbed til it shines.

We went to Monaco one night which was all rather ritzy. It was cool to see and I spent ages walking around the harbour looking at the big boats. “I like big boats and I cannot lie…” It’s hard to fathom having that kind of wealth. I tried to do my hair and look pretty in case some bajillionaire was lurking about looking for a “curvy” blonde wife… but they all seemed busy.

We had to transfer in Zurich as there isn’t a direct flight from here to Nice. It was painless on the way there and we actually flew over the alps, which was stunning! On the way back our flight got delayed and delayed and then canceled so we were put up in a really nice hotel in Zurich for the night and so I had to miss work on Monday. Shame, bitter shame.

The workshops were fairly decent although I don’t think I’d go back for that kind of PD again. I did attend a fantastic workshop by this amazing poet Taylor Mali. He was truly inspiring while being clever and witty and even producing a tear or two. I attended his poetry reading as well as his workshop on teaching poetry to kids. He was a really cool former teacher turned professional poet. I think I have a Professional Crush on him.. ha!

And that’s about all I’ve got right now. Busy week and lots to do, which means that I’ll probably be posting a lot.

Just now..

Tonight I went to a colleague’s for dinner. She is a remarkable woman, an inspiring teacher, a phenomenal cook and just a really great person all around. It was so nice to be in an actual home and eat actual food and be around an actual family for an evening. I liked it!

Still good after all these years…

As a teacher I believe that I expect a lot from my students but at the same time, I want them to enjoy my classes. I usually make deals with them where they work hard and I reward them. On Monday it was one of my English student’s birthday and so in honour of him and his English heritage we had a Birthday Tea Party. This boy is 16 years old. It was my Grade 10 English class but the kids ate it up. They all brought in cakes and cookies and treats and one boy brought a large assortment of teas. We boiled water and they sipped their drinks, ate their cake and we watched Gattaca. I chose it partly because none of them had seen it, I loved it and I could figure out a way to tie it into Brave New World, which we’re reading.

I had not watched Gattaca for years but I remember really liking it. Upon a second viewing, I am more impressed with the movie than I was years ago. It’s a great film! My students adored it! It was great and when we finished, they just sat there in silence until one said: “Whoa, now that was a good movie!”

There is just something about that film that really engrosses the viewer and makes you think. It also has the typical elements of determination and kindness that make a film stay with a person long after it’s over. Anyway.. if you haven’t seen it.. watch it!

Good things going on…

It’s been very grey weather lately. The sun goes down quite early and comes up quite late and we’re only mid-November. I think that somewhat accounts for my lethargy and general moodiness lately. But there are things to be excited about!

1) I’m going to Nice on Thursday! Yes, it’s for PD but no one is really checking up on me so I’ll go to a few workshops and then just explore I think!

2) I’m going to Bologna the next weekend… enough said.

3) The Christmas Markets open here on Thursday! I’m not quite sure what the big deal is but there is much excitement so I’ll be sure to fill you in.

4) Work Christmas Party the weekend after Bologna. Fanchy shmancy hotel and free food and wine etc. Everyone says it’s a bit crazy.. so we’ll see!

5) Home in almost a month!

So there we go.. lots to keep me happy!

A bit off..

I guess I’m in a bit of a funk these days. I’m not really sure why or what it is that’s wrong but I just feel kinda “low”. I’m crying at everything and just feel really off. I just want to hole up somewhere and drink tea and feel sorry for myself. I can’t fully pinpoint it but I’ve been worrying that I’m going to die alone.. worrying that I’ll never have a family.. worrying that I’ll never meet someone I’m truly crazy about.. just kinda sad about it all. True, I have a good life but sometimes I just want to wake up with someone and fall asleep knowing someone loves me.

I suppose this is the bad part about living the single life… with the good moments come the bad moments and today.. that’s me. November blahs perhaps..

A good kinda bad night

Anytime you are have had a rough week at work and it’s a dark and rainy Friday night and you just want to go home and curl up on the couch with a bottle of wine and DVDs.. don’t let your friends talk you into going to Hooters!

Yes, I’m not even making this up. One of them opened up here about a week ago and the American girls in my posse were wanting some good ol “hotwings” and so.. we found ourselves amidst the tackiness. The wings were actually really good! I haven’t had good wings since forever ago so it was a positive experience. Shh!

Then we met up with some others and moved to my fav cocktail bar with the Jumbo cocktails and had a lovely time .. all the while I was realizing that I hadn’t exactly had a proper dinner. Then we ended up at some Irish Pub where MB and I met two random Brits who bought us ridiculous amounts of drinks in a relatively short period of time. They were quite funny and generally nice guys.. and it was a happy time for all!

Somehow I got home.. but it hurt!

Tonight will be the DVDs on the couch.. or so I think…

Almost that time of year….

Was out for dinner last night with MB and CK and it was really rather lovely. We went to this cool italian place that has really nice couches for lounging purposes. Good to drink wine and talk, alright gossip, about all the crazies we work with!

It’s starting to feel a little more like Christmas. Normally I’m not really into Christmas stuff until December but the Christmas Markets start next weekend and Starbucks has launched the Christmas Beverages and the season is slowly starting to take over..

It’ll be great this year to be in a cold country pre-Christmas.. to bundle up in coats and scarves and window shop down cobblestone lanes.. I’m excited!

Mr. October & Me

So the Guy came and we had a totally perfect week. It really was terrific and I was somewhat shocked by just how easy it was to “play house” with him. When he left he basically told me that he had fallen for me and some other very nice things. He left me a letter that outlined just exactly how he felt about me and said that even though it was a short time we were together, it was monumental for him.. or something.

So I read the letter, was sad that he’d left, moped for about a day and then decided to move on. Kali came over one night with a bottle of wine and chocolate which was sweet of her. Anyway, I figured that once he got back home he would be swept back into his day to day routines and I would be just some happy memory in his head. I was okay with that.

Well… he’s gone a tad overboard. Started sending me tons of texts and emails and basically telling me that after meeting me he realized that he didn’t like the direction his life was going and wanted to relocate to Europe! um.. hello!

He also started confessing all this Life Stuff that he had conveniently left out of face-to-face conversations which basically made me realize that I don’t know this guy at all!

It made me freak out because while we had a great time together.. it was with the intent that it was only to be a week. I have no idea how I’d feel about him if he showed up here and moved across the street and we started talking about forever or not even forever.. let’s start with a month.. yikes.

I do believe in mushy love at first site.. I am still a romantic idealist but this is just a bit strange. In a bizarre way.. it could be a nice thing. Decent guy who is really into me and says all the right things who wants to move across the world to be with me. Yet my cynical side thinks.. what the heck! That’s so much pressure! He must be insane!

So anyway Mr October had a bit of a freak out moment yesterday and started asking me how serious I was about him and I blanked because really.. I’m not that serious.. I don’t know the guy! So we ended up having a HUGE talk via skype and sorted a whole lot out.

I told him that right now.. I have no idea about him. Maybe one day things could work out but I can’t have him moving across the world for me. Especially seeing as I’m not planning on staying here forever. I don’t even really know him and it would put way too much pressure on everyone for him to do that. Maybe one day we’ll meet up somewhere or maybe I’ll take a holiday in Australia or we can meet somewhere in the middle.. who knows? But right now I can’t throw everything around for someone I hardly know. So I said that right now.. he needs to tone it way down.. and just be my friend and we’ll see what happens way down the road.. but no sudden movements.

He actually was okay with that. For now.

Why can’t things be simple??

The coolest thing in the world…ish

OK so I am going to be having a birthday on the first day of December.. Sadly it’s a Monday and we all know that no one is in the mood for big parties on Monday night.. and so MB and I were trying to plan some sort of party thing for the weekend prior. Turns out most of my fav peeps are away and so we figured we should try and go away too.

Now this is where it gets cool.. Germanwings has this totally awesome thing on their website called Blind Booking. You basically choose a category such as Party, Culture, Shopping, Snow and with each category is listed 5-10 potential cities. The idea is that you pick your category.. enter your details and bam! your flight is booked to a mystery location that you don’t find out until you hit Confirm. So we figured we’d risk it. It’s only 40 Euros return so heck! That’s fun! You can also pay 5 extra euros to eliminate choices from the menu. It’s kind of crazy.. so yeah.. we did it and now.. for my birthday dinner I’m going to BOLOGNA!

Interesting how it turned out.. we’ll be there for about 24 hours.. just long enough for a real Italian birthday dinner and nice wine induced night out. Did you know that Bologna is where Bolognaise sauce originated from? I know.. shocker! Anyway I’m quite excited!

A few days in Paris.. etc

Well I think I’m now back to my semi-normal life again. No more visitors, no more conferences, no more strange occurrences; just my routine. I’m quite glad as I feel like I’ve been rushing non-stop since Mid October. Not that things aren’t busy.. but I have far fewer commitments.

Was in Paris for a conference this past week. The conference was held at Euro Disney which I must say is the most horrible place on earth. It was filled with screaming, overly excited children and large stuffed Disney creatures. Nightmare! During the day from 8:30-4:30 I was locked in conference rooms with other teachers, only allowed out for breaks and lunch. Terrible!

I would have liked to get more out of the conference but I think the fact that the school I work at now is so incredible.. I found the conference to be a bit of a waste of time since we do those things anyway. I also really can’t stand teachers in large groups. We are so lame as a profession! ha! I know it’s a cruel thing to say but seriously! Makes me really start to second guess my career  choice!

Anyway at night we escaped into Paris and it was fabulous! What a city! I will go back and see it during daylight hours sometime soon. We saw the big sites and walked around and found ourselves at this really cute little Indian restaurant. We ordered our food and bottles and bottles of wine and it was fantastic. Lazily drunken conversations, great food, great wine.. perfect night. We went to that place twice because it was so good! The owner loved us and kept bringing out more and more free stuff including bottles of wine.

There is something sort of wrong about staggering drunkenly back to your hotel through the Disney Village..

So next time I’m in Paris, I will wear black and bring my notebook and sit in cafes and drink coffee and/or wine and see what it looks like during the day.

Part 2 – A week and a day

And so – 10 days later, after we said goodbye in Krakow, I went to meet him at the train station. I was a little nervous on my way there, not really sure how things would work out. I wondered if I really remembered him correctly. Did he remember me or was I built up too much in his memory? How did I know?

But then, there he was and it wasn’t awkward at all – it was good. It was all of those things that make being with a boy fun.

When I got up in the morning to shower and get ready for work, he would make me coffee. When I came home from work he had snacks and usually was cooking a fantastic dinner. He is a great cook! One day I came home and he had bought me flowers, hung my curtains, removed all my icky boxes from the balcony… Yeah he was trying hard but I liked it. There is something nice about coming home to someone. There was a definite chemistry. It was strangely comfortable and domestic yet really really good. He just fit into my life and made it nicer.

We went out and did tacky tourist stuff, kept busy but also hung out a home a lot. Bottles of wine, couch time. And we talked. About everything. Every day was a good day. He was supposed to leave on Monday but stayed til Wednesday.

I promised myself it would just be counted as a good experience and I wouldn’t get the least bit attached but…

I have problems keeping promises I make to myself.