Look at Them…

Three years ago I moved to SEAsia and three years ago my favourite group of students were in Year 10. I was going to leave this place a year ago but I totally loved this group of kids and so extended my contract a final year to be able to see them graduate. Today is their last day of classes… They do have exams to write but no longer will they just be kids in my class. It’s kind of an emotional moment…

Anyway this morning I woke up early and got to school way earlier than I normally do. My dad was online and so we were having a bit of a chat. He mentioned that my X’s mom had been asking him about me (my X’s dad is our accountant which involves a yearly chit chat). Anyway she apparently told my dad that she misses me a lot and even though her boys are doing well, I was her favourite “girlfriend” ever. That’s a nice thing to know. She wants to see me when I’m home in July. So I started thinking about the fact that I did leave a very ideal situation behind and wondered if maybe I shouldn’t have. You know, I’ve been thinking about the X lately..

So I asked my dad: “Do you think I made a mistake by walking away from him and moving here?”

My Dad, who is very good with these kinds of things, said: “Before I answer, look around your classroom at your Year 12s and ask me if you think it was a mistake?”

And really, it wasn’t.

Recycled Lines…

You know how when you’re in a relationship for a while you get to know all sorts of little things that your partner loves you to do? You start to figure little things out that totally drive him wild and it’s really cool because it’s sexy stuff just between the two of you?? I love things like that.

But then you break up and eventually after you’ve pulled yourself together, you start to see other people. Then suddenly you find yourself with a new guy.. wanting to impress him and you find yourself thinking back to your X and what he liked and then without really meaning to, you start to use your old material. You use it because it’s good and because it worked.. yet it really kinda belongs to the first guy.

I never really thought about it before because it just seems like what you do but the more guys I’m with.. the more I realize that it’s harder and harder to get fresh new material. I was also thinking about this because one of my closest guy friends is a serious player.. and he’s got some good stuff. It’s very convincing.. I know because it worked on me! Anyway I was listening to him tell me a story about one of his recent conquests and he described doing with this new one a very similar version to what he did with me. I didn’t like it.. it wasn’t anything overly glamorous but it was little gestures and sayings that tend to work.. and did work.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say about this because unless you marry your first boyfriend, it’s bound to happen but at the same time, I think a girl does yearn for originality and to know that she fell for some token pick up strategy is a bit.. well.. embarrassing…

Pep Talk

On Friday night I met a few Germans who were here for a variety of reasons. Jimmy told them I was moving there soon and they started asking me what part etc etc. When I told them they weren’t overly impressed. They said it would be boring compared to here. But then again they were from a huge city and I’m only moving to a moderately sized city. They also said that I’m going to have a really difficult time until I learn German and I’ll find it really really tough. Well that was encouraging. That whole thing kinda threw me off because I am seeking more of a life not less of one. But I am taking German lessons already.. so hopefully I won’t be too badly off for long.

Anyway today I was re-reading all my Germany-literature and I started getting more excited. Every experience is what you make it and the place I’m going has a lot of things going for it. Plus, everywhere gets boring after a while.. so the key is to find things to make life pleasant. I think it will be a good life and I’m close to awesome places and have access to lots of fresh air and beautiful scenery and clean food.. yeah.. it will be good!

I love this bar…

You know the Toby Keith song?? I found the SEAsian version of that bar last night! It was awesome! Jimmy and I went to a different area of the city and stumbled, yes literally stumbled upon this total gem of a place! It was wild and fun and filled with a whole mix of crazy people.. lots and lots of expats just going mental and having fun. I met lots of people and it was good.. Lots of real characters and amusing people to meet and watch. There were bits of the creepy vibes but everyone was having fun so it seemed much less creepy. We had a great time and stayed until the wee morning hours. My head is suffering a bit today..

It’s always like this.. you start finding really cool places and having tons of fun just as you’re about to leave a place. I’m going to try and find all the fun places at the beginning once I’m in Europe.. I’ll get better and better at this thing yet.

You’ve almost got mail

And finally it’s FRIDAY!! What a week of.. *sigh* but enough of that.. weekend is here and I think it should be a good one!

I have started going through some of my things as you do when you know you have to pack or toss everything you own. Anyway I found a card that my X gave me right before I left for this place. I read it a couple times and realized that I had totally ignored a really important part of the card and the fact that I ignored his words.. made a massive difference in how I viewed him and the end of us for all my time here. A common mistake but probably necessary… however, now I’m thinking: Aw, he was such a sweet guy! He really loved me and it did rip his heart partially out when I decided to move here. So finding that card, plus being rather lonely and single, I decided to send him a quick email or Facebook message.. you know, just to see how he is… to.. well I don’t know. However the cyber-gods appear to be against this. Every single time I have tried to send a message.. either my screen goes black or I accidentally close the window or the power goes out or I lose my connection.. I have tried now seven a few times and it just won’t work!! So maybe we’ll just let that one sit forever a while.

Also.. don’t you hate it when you smell amazing chocolate brownies or cookies baking inside your apartment and then when you enter it.. you can’t figure out where they are?? No sign of anything remotely chocolatey.. I think my maid has been lending out my oven…curses!

*Sigh*

It’s Thursday afternoon and it’s one of those weeks where the weekend can’t come fast enough. I’m in a state of “blah”.. well not so much “blah” because “blah” implies that I don’t care at all.. and has an element of ickiness to it. I’d say I’m more just feeling like I’m living inside a giant *SIGH*. It’s one of those G&T and a cigarette days… one of those days where you just want to sit in silence and watch the world go by. A day where things aren’t particularly good but they aren’t particularly bad and it’s too tiring to figure out why. A day where there is a lot of emotion bubbling under the surface but I can’t figure out how to focus it.

I’ve been plunking away on a book of sorts and while creativity was overflowing for a while.. I’m having a hard time focusing it. I find that I spend all my time writing totally unnecessary sex love scenes that I would never submit to a publisher. They are hard to write actually.. although sadly.. I’m getting rather good at writing them. Must be due to the lack of activity in that area of my own life.. anyway.. I have things to say and words I need to write but they are all just bubbling around and unable to come out in a good way.

So there you have it.. I suppose during times like these all one can really do is sit back, relax and wait for the weekend…. sigh.

Papers, Forms & Faxes.. wow that sounds like some exciting reading..

Ahhh… this relocating thing is proving to be a right pain in the arse! OK that didn’t sound very Canadian. Anyway I’m finding that the German government apparently cares about my qualifications.. can you imagine!? and so I am in the process of trying to order transcripts and get copies of diplomas and degrees and.. ahh! It’s all just finicky stuff.. phone calls, forms to fill out, faxing, scanning, faxing.. blah! It’s just time consuming.

Call me Cuddles…ugh

While doing cafeteria supervision the other day I was sitting with a fellow teacher, an old british fellow pushing 70, and we had this conversation:

Old Brit: Here, that pretty little student just baked these brownies. Try one, they’re brilliant.

Me: Ah no thanks, I’m trying to quit.

Old Brit: Why would you do a thing like that?

Me: Oh you know, I’m moving to Europe soon and if I ever want to get a lovely boyfriend, I can’t be a big girl

Old Brit: You aren’t big my dear and besides, I hear men over there love their women big.

Me: Well I don’t want to be big either way

Old Brit: Dear girl, you aren’t big. You are what we like to call back home… Cuddly.

Me: That’s really not much better!

Old Brit: <big laugh>

Me: <sheds invisible tear and makes firm resolve to never eat a carb again>

8 Weeks!

I have 8 weeks left before Summer Holidays! That is one exciting thought.. it is also a tad daunting as summer vacation means more beach holidays and that means bathing suit time! It also means cute sun-dresses and tank tops and all of those fun pretty things.. problem is.. right now I’m not gonna look so hot in any of it.. and so begins my next 8 weeks of total rock solid determination and devotion to eating right, working out hard and getting that “smoke show status”.

So yes.. this means some fruit and lots of vegetables.. light protein and limited amounts of carbs. Absolutely no sugar or white flour.. yikes! And.. the most devastating of all.. NO ALCOHOL!!! (although I may have to alter the plan for the occasional glass of wine or Saturday night Gin and Tonic.) Anyway it might hurt but hopefully the end result will be worth it. I have enough time between now and when I need to be ready that results can happen. So here we go!!

Oh and yesterday afternoon I went for a 2 hour traditional massage and something happened in there! I am aching all over today.. my legs are so sore (feels like I ran a marathon) and all along my spine is really tender. Hmm.. maybe 10 bucks for 2 hours isn’t such a hot idea.. however I do feel oddly better. No pain, no gain???

Lizards and Paint Thinner

Weird things going on this week. Friday a girl from work A was sitting in her living room with her front door open. She has a screen door and sometimes likes to get a break from the constant use of AC. Anyway suddenly this huge thing came flying through the screen door, ran under her legs and into her bedroom! She screamed and ran outside. Within a couple minutes a few of the neighbourhood security guards were there to try and help. The security boys proved to be slightly useless as they were frightened by the huge thing too. Just at that moment our hero Jimmy came home from work and so they called him over. Jimmy is not afraid of creepy things seeing as he spent the majority of his childhood growing up in Africa. Anyway Jimmy went into A’s bedroom and saw the huge thing under the bed.. it was hissing at him. Jimmy and the security boys made a noose-like thing and caught the thing. They dragged it outside and started taking pictures with it. It was a HUGE lizard! It was as long as Jimmy.. which is 6 feet plus and quite thick! It’s called a Monitor Lizard I think and it’s disgusting. Poor A.. just sitting there when this thing flies through her screen door. There is quite the hole in it. Ah well.. she does get a good story out of it.

The other kinda sad thing is that one of my all time favourite students has been hospitalized. Crazy boy accidentally drank paint thinner. The bottle was sitting there and he’s not one to ask if he can eat or drink anything. It was in a water bottle so he just lifted it over his head and took a huge gulp. He immediately started vomiting and was rushed to the hospital. He’s getting all cleaned out.. poor guy. Hopefully he’ll be ok.

Well that was the strange part of the weekend.. the rest of it seems to be shaping up okay.

Top 5 Eye-Opening Experiences

One of the things HKN and I love to do is make Top 5 lists. Yesterday we made up Top 5 Eye-opening Experiences lists. This is mine:

1) Meeting a former high school teacher outside of school and seeing how shy and rude she was. I had always believed that adults were the mature and responsible ones. Adults knew how to make small talk and weren’t ever scared or awkward or inhibited or self-conscious. Realizing the imperfection in the adult world was an eye-opening experience as I realized that things were not necessarily easier when grown ups played.

2) Being exposed to complete poverty in SEAsia. I was well aware of the poor in the world but to actually witness it was eye-opening. To see people who lived in squalor, with no hope of improvement was shocking. To see that amidst the dirt and disease there still remained a level of contentment was downright unbelievable. And also to note that these people cared very little about what was going on in the big Western world. To realize that not a lot matters to anyone when their whole existence is based on survival. Very humbling.. very eye-opening

3) The dirty undercover sex stuff in SEAsia. The first time being exposed to all of the nitty gritty girly boys, hookers, creepy white men, drugs etc that play into the tourism aspect of this country was pretty eye-opening and shocking. Now the more shocking thing to me is how totally used to seeing and hearing about it I have become..

4) Losing a high school friend at the end of Grade 12. Realizing that young people die too. Good looking, smart, outgoing, fun people can just die like that.

5) Finding a tube of KY Jelly in my parent’s bedroom. I don’t think I need to elaborate further on this one.

Little Bus Trip

Yesterday I was in a Sally Sensitive Sulky Sofa kinda mood. I just wanted to be hugged and loved and was generally being a big baby. Shocking I know! Anyway amidst my lollygagging about.. Jimmy came and knocked on my door. This is his new strategy.. to call on me.. instead of texting. I’m more likely to open the door than pick up the phone. So there he is.. big smile.. knapsack and wanting to go for an adventure. I wasn’t having any of it.

So Jimmy spent the next hour convincing me to go.. have an experience.. make a memory.. do something remarkable.. make the day count.. only 9 weeks left.. blah blah.. he’ll pay for everything.. and SOLD!

We left my building and jumped on the back of two motorbikes that weaved in and out of very chaotic traffic. Usually I only jump on the back to get to school or somewhere else reasonably close. Then we get off at the ‘Bus Stop’.. which is basically a puddle of mud. Let it be noted that since Jimmy wanted to take the bus and not a taxi.. I was demanding an air-conditioned one at least. Well this was not a normal bus at all. It was this big dirty driving machine. We were the only white folk on it.. I think the only white folk who had ever been on it before and we sure stood out! The bus took off.. it cost 50cents to get all the way into the city.. and it was an experience to be sure. Occasionally the bus would stop and different people would get on to sell us stuff.. from weird nuts and candies to day planners to juice and some dude came on and played a few songs on his guitar..

When we reached the middle of the city it was time to get off the bus.

Jimmy: OK we get off here. Move up to the front.

Me: OK

Jimmy: Why aren’t you getting off??

Me: The bus is still moving!

Jimmy: Doesn’t matter.. just jump off! That’s how everyone here does it!

So I did.. and then found myself standing in the middle of this insanely busy street with buses everywhere. Jimmy took my hand and at one point we were pressed between two buses.. hardly room to exhale. But we made it.. then got a taxi and headed to a more “civilized area.” We had a lovely lunch and wandered around to various bookshops and specialty stores.. and then got a coffee and headed back.

Overall it was nice and it was good to actually do something, rather than lie around feeling sorry for myself. We’ve got a list of all the places we want to go and things we want to do before we leave.. so it all begins now!

Money money money money.. blah

Ahh.. so while I am technically quite an independent girl, part of me is still linked to home. The financial part. My parents had to co-sign on a loan for me back in the day and so my financial statements still get mailed to their address.. and some show up on their online banking accounts. Yikes! Anyway one of my huge weaknesses is money. I can justify spending it on anything and really.. I hardly think about it.. I just am an impulse spender!

Anyway I hadn’t chatted with my Dad in a long time and this morning he decided to “go at me” for my weakness and poor spending habits and the fact that my finances are way out of control. So much for the whole “moving to Asia to save” plan. I think I might be a tad more in debt. So yes.. I basically got a big lecture about my finances and how I should not be taking more holidays and how I have a huge debt and am now moving to an expensive European country and what in the world am I planning on doing? Part of it was funny.. he told me I should have married one of my X’s because he’s super rich so he could have provided some financial sanity in my life.. and I could have provided him with a child. hmm… but no one would have been happy in that arrangement. Anyway.. it was just one of those times where I got lectured and now I feel like I’m 10 years old again.

I do know that I need to get things a bit more under control .. a lot actually.. it’ll all fit into the whole “re-inventing myself” for Europe thing. One more thing on the list: Financial responsibility.. *weep*

You know the Policing is sketchy when…

It’s 2:30am and you just left a late movie. As you are walking down a semi deserted street you suddenly start to hear the thundering bass pumping out of a nearby car. It is pounding! You turn slightly and realize it’s a police car cruising around listening to the latest Hip Hop/R&B tunes. Then when you and your blonde friend get into a nearby taxi the bass groovin cop seems to find the need to drive right beside you for the whole length of the city.. right beside.. and not looking at the road!

Gotta love this place!

Just Stuff

Yesterday was Jimmy’s birthday and so a rather unlikely group of us headed into the city for dinner at a Jazzy Supper Club. Isn’t “supper club” a cool concept? Anyway it was a good time and even those who aren’t overly given to crazy fun times seemed to enjoy themselves. Now one thing I’ve noticed is that groups of teachers are generally the most tedious groups of people to socialize with. I can say this because I am one. And while our group was only teachers.. I think we had a great time… Shockingly the whole topic of school only came up once to tell some story about a stupid thing a kid did. Quite nice.

Our group consisted of:

Me.. and you know about me.. kinda.

Jimmy.. the birthday boy and you know about him.. sorta. He’s a geography and business teacher.

MK.. my dear friend and the only one who teaches junior school but she’s cool!

CF.. my teaching buddy.. we both teach English Lit next door to each other

Brad.. a middle school english teacher who doesn’t actually like teaching at all.

Henry.. the world traveling economics teacher who is an expert on pretty much everything.. really rather quiet but when he does talk.. he’s got some funny stories.

So while the 6 of us have never all socialized as a group like that.. something about the dynamics worked. It’s nice to find pockets of people who get along.. who can make each other laugh and who appreciate good jazz.

Anyway it’s Friday now and I am ever so looking forward to ending this “down-ish” week. The weekend doesn’t look overly packed but I’m going to be sure to fill it with happy things.