except that I don’t really do the countdown thing anymore. But if I did: Less than two weeks and I’m living in Germany! Totally crazy! I’m feeling all kinds of things about this next stage but I know enough to know that freaking out now isn’t going to help anything. So I’ll just quietly get myself ready and say my goodbyes and then I’ll be gone!

It’s been fun being home but I’m getting rather bored and restless. And knowing that a whole new set of changes is coming is weird. 

It’s strange because there are a few things that I haven’t quite gotten used to since being back. In Indonesia it’s considered rather rude to pass things with your left hand and so after living there for three years I’m pretty good with never really using it. I can shift my bags and hold things so that I never am taking things or passing things with my left. My left hand is rather useless now actually. I was in the grocery store today and caught myself switching bags so that I could take the change with my right.. 

The other thing is when you are walking down a hall.. or going up stairs.. for a good year and a half I was the one always bumping into people in Indonesia… and now that I’m back here.. I’m still always the one bumping into people.. ah well!

Tomorrow The Sister and I are off to Canada’s Wonderland for the day.. I have always loved a good roller coaster…

Made it back from the woods! It was a good time and although the weather was slightly sketchy.. I liked it! Nice to be away from civilization and hang out with my Dad. Also nice not to get eaten by a bear.

So now I’m back in the world of soft beds and hot showers… bliss!

Tomorrow morning I am leaving for a three night canoe trip with my Dad. We’re heading way way up to Northern Ontario for the big adventure. We’ve done this kind of thing before.. we’re a canoe tripping family but there has only been one other father-daughter canoe-trip, which was 8 years ago. This year we have separate bedrooms. Well two tents. This is ideal because A.. it’s kinda weird to sleep in the same tent as your dad when you’re in your 20s and B.. he snores like nothing else and C.. everyone likes a little space. 

I am looking forward to this trip and it’s good because I am a Daddy’s girl.. so we get along great. He has said that I’m just like him but with estrogen. So yeah.. off we go.. I do hope we don’t get eaten by bears or struck by lightening or whatever else could happen to a person in the Great Canadian Wild! 

It will be nice to get out of town and way up where it’s all natural and quiet and clean! A few good days to clear my head should be just the thing…

I’ve started to panic about Germany a little.. so I’ll just paddle and portage those angsty feelings away!

It’s amazing what a little fresh air and exercise can do. In the name of reinventing myself I have taken up early morning runs. Well they started as fast walking and now are starting to turn more run-like. Today though.. I ran all the way up the huge hill without stopping! It took me forever to stop sweating afterwards and a full hour to lose my red face but hey.. I’m making progress and feeling good!

My mom is also on a Clean Foods kick so I’m eating healthy and feeling lots better.. this is gonna be a bit of a long journey but I’m good for it!

I had such a good afternoon and evening! JC came into town and we hung out and went for coffee and dinner. It was so good to catch up and we never run out of things to say. It’s cool because she is one of the few who have visited me in Indoland and so we do share some pretty crazy holiday stories and it’s nice because she understands and knows what I’m talking about. Plus we go quite a ways back so that only adds to it. We like lots of the same things and can laugh about anything. It was awesome to see her!

Then after dinner we went to Mr. M’s brand new condo he just bought and hung out with him. It’s a really nice place and should he ever decide to love me.. I could move back and be very happy there! He’s just a really cool guy.. a good guy.. it could work! 

It’s fun with the three of us because we all grew up in the same area, we all went to the same high school (although we weren’t friends during those years) and we all lifeguarded for years and years together. We have things in common and as a group of three.. it just works. 

So the plan is to go out again really soon but to make more of a night of it. It needs to happen… we all said it…so it will. 

I just like that dynamic.. it was fun.. it was chill.. it was good…

It’s a Dark Day in my world .. cue heavy depressing music… but it’s only temporary dark I think. I went to the bank to sort out my money woes.. and things aren’t too bright. Due to my Rockstar lifestyle and inability to handle money at all I have been forced to consolidate yet again and get a personal loan to cover credit card debt before heading off on the next adventure. Yuck. It makes me feel slightly queasy..

So yeah, I had to consolidate things and get a second loan because I can’t dump my debt into my line of credit (which is a student line of credit and has an amazingly low interest rate).. this is all horribly boring but we came up with the best solution possible. This means I have to live within my means… *shock* and actually learn to say no when people ask me to do things.

I have done this to myself and now need to pay the price but I think I can manage it. I just have to be really really careful and not just spend money because I can. This is all assuming I get approved for the loan.. but what bank would deny me? I’m about to borrow a lot of money and give back even more?? I’m a good deal! OK so yeah.. I need to be careful now because I can’t go back and have a bank appointment like that again…

A nice fact is that I did find out that my new school pays teachers for all of their extra curricular activities.. so I think I’ll be helping out with EVERYTHING! 

It’s going to be tight.. it’s going to be tricky.. it may not be fun but I’ll make it work. It’s all about getting realistic about my life..

I had a nice day today. I basically followed my Dad around all day.. like I used to do when I was little. We did some errands and then went up to the beach for lunch.. some good father/daughter bonding time for sure. We also had the Money Talk.. which I hate but expect every time I’m home. I’m basically in major financial distress and something needs to be done… Living like a rockstar has caught up with me…and the fact that I’m moving to a very expensive part of the world does not help. So yes.. we talked about how I’m basically bankrupt and decided to go to the bank together on Wednesday to get some smart person to help me. I like my dad because we can have some hard conversation and then it’s done with. We don’t have to have it over and over again.. so it’s nice that I’m a little more than a week in and the dreaded Money Talk is done. Let’s just hope the bank can help me. It’s all about getting my life in order…

Anyway I’m going to chill out a bit and just enjoy being home.. and not caring about the boring parts but just using them to relax and catch up on some reading and writing.. 

Oh and Mr M and I have chatted a couple times since I’ve been home and we have tentative plans for Thursday.. fun fun … I just wish I had been one of those girls who got all skinny when she moved to Asia.. instead I’ve been dragging my ass out of bed in the morning and doing some sort of walk-run thing around the neighbourhood every morning.. but I digress.. So yes.. things to do.. people to see.. books to read.. it’s all good!

OK I’ve been home for a full week and I feel the restless starting to set in. I mean look at me! It’s Saturday night and I’m blogging.. Well blogging after spending the earlier parts of the evening watching Season 3 of Weeds. What a life! It’s so weird being back because I can really see how life went on without me. It’s not like I’m expecting it to stand still when I leave or to stop when I get home but still.. I’m realizing that here.. I am bored.

I spent the week visiting with people but funny thing is.. when your friends are basically all married with or without babies.. their weekends are filled with married- babied activities and there is NO ONE who can go out with me! So hmm.. either I go out by myself.. which in this town city is not done or I develop fun ways of keeping myself entertained for a month. 

I’m trying not to think too much about my Indonesia days and I’m trying not to psych out too much about my approaching Germany days.. and so here I am.. sitting here and trying not to go insane. 

There has to be something to do.. someone to call.. I can handle a night of this but to think that this could happen Saturday after Saturday… oh man! I need to go back to the island!

I have missed. Things like going for long walks in the fresh morning air, things like sitting out on patios late at night under the stars, things like swimming in the fresh water of the Great Lakes (ok maybe it’s not totally fresh and it’s a tad nippy..). I have missed the overall politeness of Canadians. I love how people let you ahead of them in line if you have only two items and they have ten. I love how people apologize to you if they bump into you.. or even if you bump into them. I love the space! I have missed Canada and for a while.. it’s nice to be back!

I have been out of Indonesia for a full week now. This time last week I was.. freaking out while in transit in Singapore but nonetheless.. I have been out of that country and now trying to settle back into mine for the time being. It’s been nice to be home and catch up with family and friends but it’s always a little weird too. I have somewhat stopped fitting into life here and for the past three years it was because most of my life was in Indonesia.. but now that life is over and I’m onto a new one at the end of the month. I suppose I sort of feel a little like I’m in limbo at the moment.

It was harder to leave Indonesia than I thought it would be. The fact that I don’t know when I’ll be going back. I’ve had a few LOST moments where I feel like Jack saying: “We have to get back to the Island!!!” But that’s just my dramatic moments. I am comforted by the fact that I have a new adventure awaiting.. something else to look forward. Therefore, I can take the humdrum of life here a little less seriously. 

Whenever my Indo expat friends return home they always start to re-evaluate whether or not they should move back to their native lands.. It’s a question we all ask ourselves from time to time. How do you know when you’ve been away too long? I’ve only been home a week but I know that I won’t be permanently moving back to Canada for a good long while. I do like it here and it is a great country to live in but at the same time.. the city my parents live in is the best place in the world to raise kids and live a cozy happy little life and seeing as I’m lacking in one husband and children.. I think I’ll pass for the time being..

I’ve been trying to fill my days with all manner of productive things.. going on long walks, writing a bit, reading a bit and hanging out with people. I usually have a person I see during the day.. thanks to almost all my friends being housebound young moms and then I have a nighttime person.. it keeps me busy. 

I am shortly off to go visit my gramma, which is always .. interesting. 

 

Finally Home! It took forever and ever! Never fly Northwest if you can help it! Door to door.. the whole thing took about 46 hours! That’s way too long! But it’s over and now I’m home and wow.. yeah. Been spending the past day and a bit just chillin with my parents mainly. Went to see Grandparents for a bit and then unpacked my suitcases (which was a feat in itself) and started getting settled. Haven’t seen my friends yet but there isn’t as much of a rush as before. 

Anyway I’m feeling all dopey and tired so I won’t go on and on.. but now I’m in Canada for a month… I’m happy. 

And the best news.. I don’t have to fly anywhere for at least a month! 

Whoa. This is my last night in Indonesia. Got back from Bali this afternoon and have been busy packing up last minute things and figuring out how I’m going to get everything home. There is so much to sort and work out. MK came over before dinner and we went through everything I own and chucked tons of it out. It was such a help having someone go through it with me. I think I’m pretty much all set. We also went for our last Indian food meal at the local place. The main guy cooked us up a pretty fantastic (free) meal! It was such good food and such a good way to go out. 

I keep getting hit with waves of “Whoa this is real. This is happening.” Everything familiar is about to change. I am excited about the change but at the same time, I’m realizing that I may not be back here for a long long time. My world has been here for the past 3 years. This is the place I come “home” to after holidays and this is the place I am now comfortable. I really will miss it. 

I am looking forward to going home for a month but I think I will be in a bit of shock from having this whole thing done. This is life though right? It changes and change is good. I will miss my life here, I will miss my students and my friends and I will really miss MK, my person. But it’s okay.. It’s nice that while I lived here for 3 long years.. in that time I really was able to make a life for myself and establish some amazing relationships. And so with that… I sign off for now.

 

Well I think MK and I have pretty much perfected our holiday routine. We have always traveled well together in that we feel the same about spending money on the same things.. we like doing the same things and we enjoy the perfect blend of laziness and activity. It’s all rather ideal.. We went out the other night which was hilarious. We are into meeting the most random people and making big happy groups of people.. it beats the regular Bali make outs with strangers. We developed a bit of a following the other night.. which included several aussies, one who kept a snake in his shirt, a couple korean girls, an aloof indian guy and this crazy guy Steve, who I’m sure was on something because NO ONE can dance with such energy the whole entire night! It was good though…

So back to holiday routines.. I really shouldn’t blog on holidays.. my brain shuts down… We wake at a leisurely hour, put our bathing suits on and sloppy beach wear and have breakfast.. then usually we hit the beach for a good long while. We walk the beach and chill in the sun with our books. Then mid to late afternoon we walk back to the hotel and spend some time chillin by the pool and eating a late late lunch. Sometimes we get massages.. then as the sun goes down we get two large Bintangs and sit on our balcony and watch the sky turn various shades of pinks, purples, oranges and then black. Once the sun goes down we shower or watch movies or just chill and then head out for a long late dinner. It’s bliss really. Then depending on our mood.. we go to big noisy Kuta for a big noisy night or we just walk around or come back to the hotel to chill. It’s all very lovely really.. and the best part??? I still have the better part of a week! Blissss…..

Ahhhh…. I am happy. Bali is fantastic. One full day down and oh so many more to go! MK and I were just talking about how we feel so much happier and healthier here. The fresh air works wonders and the sun and blue sky and ocean and fresh fruit and.. and… and.. it’s great!

Have been staying rather low profile for the first few days. Gotta get the tan going and get into the vacation swing. We’re supposed to be meeting up with Jimmy for drinks one night as well as a few other random friends here. Overall.. it’s great. I’m so glad I decided to come here before heading directly home to Canada. Nice to get a comfortable breather in there somewhere.

Leaving school today was surreal. Walking out of that building and knowing that I won’t be going back was strange. I feel like I need to let out a huge breath but I just can’t. It’s too big. Sure it sounds really dramatic but it’s how I’m feeling. Just really kind of uptight and like I’ve been holding my breath for three years and now.. I can let go. But at the same time I don’t want to.

I finished work around noon and then went home and dropped my stuff. I took the ojek to MK’s house and then hung out with her for a bit til we went to the salon for our hair, mani and pedi. Lovely and relaxing. I love getting my hair washed and straightened. Then we went to meet some of our other friends at Starbucks. They were heading to Cork & Screw.. probably my favourite restaurant but I didn’t feel like going tonight. I don’t really know why. I think because I have had such incredible times there with MK and Jimmy.. I didn’t want to mess with those memories. Weird of me.. but hey I can be weird if I want to. 

So MK and I went for Chinese and then picked up a few things at the mall. We also sang Karaoke songs in one of the little booths in the mall. It’s like a portopotty but with music! It was good fun and we sang some great songs.. we finished with Michael Buble’s Home.. which was a mistake. Way too sad. We had a bit of a moment! Have you ever really paid attention to those words?? Not good for two friends who don’t want to part ways.

Jimmy popped by MKs house and we all had a bit of a laugh. He also dropped a card by my house and it said all the right kinds of things. It was really very nice and I think he and I will be okay. He’ll be surfing in Bali so he wants to meet up and take MK and I out… seeing as he drank all our liquor this year and never contributed to the supply.. it’s the least he can do. I do think things will be better with me and old Jimmy.. 

So yes.. tomorrow is Bali.. it’ll be a good place to unwind and breathe a bit..