Off to Thailand tomorrow! First year teaching in Germany.. done! Such a good feeling! Yesterday all we did was drink champagne it seemed. My department is very into champagne and strawberries and I find it a perfect way to start the day. It’s crazy that it’s June.. still so cold and rainy. Last night a bunch of people met up downtown and it was freezing and rainy and we were all bundled up in jackets and.. so not June!

But that’s okay because I’m one day and a plane ride away from tropical weather! I’m quite excited and spending this dark cozy day packing up and doing laundry. I think I’m pretty set.

I’ve got a great summer ahead and I’m looking forward to the perfect blend of relaxation, adventure and catching up with good friends! I’ve also started planning some fun stuff for when I get back here.. so yes… these are happy days!

I can’t believe how cold it is! This morning it’s about um.. well I don’t actually know but I have on jeans and a sweater and I’m still a wee bit chilly. Anyway.. Friday things will be different!

My German neighbours are insane! I got called into HR yesterday morning because they deal with my landlord as he’s a right kook. Anyway apparently the House Frau called him the other day to ask if I had moved a red couch into my apartment last Monday because apparently I marked the walls and now they want me to pay for a full paint job. Funny that.. the couch is completely padded and there are no marks anywhere! Gotta love nosey neighbours who like to “tell” on you! So hopefully that gets sorted out soon but I’m not paying for marks I didn’t make. They also occasionally like to call him to tell him things like, I keep my windows open when I’m at work or I’m letting “strangers” do their wash in our machines and on and on it goes. Oh well.. deep breaths! It’s rather amusing actually.

Found out yesterday that I got the position of Faculty Advisor for Student Council. It’s a good on the resume, will be a good experience overall and the chance to work with some of my all-time favourite students! Plus it comes with quite the stipend! Yay!

I teach my last two classes this morning and then I basically just have to hang around til noon tomorrow. Not a bad deal really. I have a few errands to do for Thailand so I’m thinking I’ll just “go to the bank”.. which is code at work for skipping out.

And that’s all I got for now.. I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone!

So it’s the last week of classes and only a half week at that! A lot to do in a little amount of time but I’m totally relaxed about it all. This time next week I’ll be in Thailand! So really… I can handle a few long hours of entering report comments or marking exams. Easy peasy!

I’ve been expanding my social network here and finding a few “hidden gems”. And even better, they are all around next year. Spirits are high since MB’s “Drink my booze” party and so while it’s sad she’s leaving, I definitely have a pretty kickass group of friends to hang out with.

I also found out this week that they are going to run my Creative Writing class in the fall so that’s pretty amazing. It will look excellent on a resume as well. The Librarian is really excited that I’m doing it and is offering to fly in this brilliant poet guy to run a workshop for my class. How exciting! The only one not excited is my Department head. She’s a somewhat lovely woman who means well but has been down on the whole idea of me creating this new class. Apparently she tried to start one a few years back and no one signed up for it.. well um.. yeah.. I can kinda see what that’s about. Still, it’s kinda sad when someone who is in her 60s is thrown off by enthusiastic younger teachers. She has a bit of a thing against me and Kali but we’re trying to take it in stride. Anyway enough of that… the important thing is that it’s going ahead. Now I just have to figure out how to actually teach it!

I called home last night and had a great chat with the parentals. I am looking forward to seeing them. Again its really strange to think that they’ll be in a new house when I go home. Should be interesting!

So yes… one year in Germany is nearly in the bag… I’ve got friends.. I like my job… I am feeling good about myself.. I have excellent travel plans to look forward to.. so yeah.. alles gut!

I am bad at goodbyes. I mean I’m really quite awful at them.. not that I make a massive fuss but because I kind of do the opposite. I think that perhaps I live in denial or something and find myself surprised when people actually do leave. Last year, leaving Indonesia, was a bizarre experience. Saying goodbye to a place and friends who had become my home and family was difficult but at the same time, I felt I was rather casual about the whole thing. The goodbye fact didn’t hit until I was in the air. Well saying goodbye to MK was hard but not as messy as it could have been. I kept saying, “I’m not acting like I’m sad or upset but it will hit me later.. promise.” It’s strange because it’s months later when I realize that I’m not going back, that things are different, that it really starts to hit me. Maybe I’m a bit retarded but I think it almost takes me a while to realize what the goodbye actually means. Its moments like tonight when I really just need someone like MK to talk to that I really “feel” the goodbye of it all. It’s almost been a year and its still hitting me… or maybe that’s just called missing a person.

It’s strange because with this whole International Teaching lifestyle, goodbyes are a common thing in life.. everyone is coming and going.. including me. It’s not that I don’t feel attached to people or sad when they leave but I realize that I can’t do anything to stop it.. and so just accept it. Old people leave, new people come, it just keeps going. My good friend MB is leaving this year and that’s sad because we’ve hung out a lot.. being two of the few single girls around helps bond people but at the same time… c’est la vie. I wonder what next year will be like but I know there will be people around.. so I’m not worried. It sounds so dismissive but it’s what it’s like.

So it’s that time of year.. goodbye time.. but it’s all okay!

Had a chat tonight with a very good longtime friend from home. FD Boy.. you may remember him from previous posts. Anyway we’re both getting busier with life and have way less time to chat.. which is actually ok because I need to be more focused on what’s in front of me and less on what’s ‘over there’.  Anyway today he told me that he’s been ring shopping and planning a wedding for a years time from now.

It was really strange.

I am genuinely happy for him but at the same time.. he is one of the ONLY people from home who understands me and doesn’t make me feel weird for not being on the same path as everyone else. Actually, he’s traveled, moved all over and living in a pretty cool place now so he doesn’t fit the usual mold but you know what I mean. It’s nice that he found what he wants and he’s getting his life in order but it’s just a matter of looking around and seeing that there are very few people in my club now. It’s kind of lonely now.

And how does that make me feel? You ask… Well I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Lovely weekend these long weekends! Last night one of my friends who is moving to Asia had a “Drink My Booze” party. We each had to bring some mixers and then we went to town on her supply. It was good fun! Lots of stupid laughs and lots and lots of drinks! My head kills today and I really kinda feel like vomiting but it was worth it!

So this time two weeks from now I’ll be hanging out in Thailand! I’m really psyched about that and looking forward to being on a gooood beach for a while! We’re doing Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, Phi Phi, Phuket and Bangkok.. so it’s a good mix of places and a good blend of things to do and nothing to do! MB and I will be together for the whole thing and then the other chaperones will be in Samui with us I think. It should be good and they’re fun people outside of work.

HKN told me that he might pop by for a visit but we’ll see what happens there. I would LOVE to see him again but I’m also not really ready to be around him in minimal clothing. Yes he’s just a friend but he’s also a total aesthete…

So yeah.. the superstar diet is taking a long time to work but I guess it is happening.. I feel good mostly but still have those horrid days too.. and the drinking last night did not help! Anyway we’ll tan these imperfections and all will be swell!

I’m feeling really rather fortunate these days..  Life is pretty fantastic and I have lots to look forward to!

standing at a concert and realizing you are surrounded by devastatingly good looking TALL men (tall as in my 5′9 frame came up to their shoulders! And 5 of them close to me! as in touching close…)…

Unhappiness is suddenly noticing how well dressed/groomed/put together and elusive said men are and coming to the conclusion that they are all gay…

Happiness is realizing that they aren’t actually gay.. they are just European!

It’s ultra girly but has been a bit of my theme song lately.

Looking at how life has turned out or is turning out…

Realizing that at times I’ve screwed up but I’ll be okay…

Noticing that lots of the mean girls growing up are barefoot and pregnant and I’m (well not writing pop songs) but traveling around the world…

Remembering that I’ve had some detours.. stupid men… but know what not to do again…

Realizing that yes.. all this time you’ve had it in you.. you just sometimes need a push…

OK I am so ready for holidays! They are coming soon though so it’s totally bearable. I feel bad for my Canadian teacher friends.. poor suckers have to go til the end of June! I seriously would probably crack if that was the case for me. It’s strange because due to final exams, I’m losing classes by the day. I am now down to teaching 1.5 classes for the next two weeks. It’s strange because while I’m not teaching a lot, it seems as though there is so much paperwork to deal with that I’m still quite busy.

But enough of that.. so tomorrow I’m taking my last Personal Day! I’m planning on going shopping for summer clothes! Also I need to pick up some nice summer reading..  Any suggestions?

…long conversations with friends who let you moan and bitch and rant and rave no matter how petty it is…and still love you when you’re finished.

The more I keep doing this life thing the more I keep realizing that so much of it is a head game. So much of how we feel about ourselves and those around us boils down to how we let ourselves process the world around us. It’s the whole idea of seeing things through the optomistic, pessimistic or realistic lense of life… It’s all about not letting ourselves go down bad or destructive thought paths and focusing on the positive and all of that. OK before I start sounding like some new age self help book let me clarify.

I am not a little girl nor will I ever be. I’m just not built like that and while I could wallow in self pity and hate all those who were born with better skinny genetics I won’t do that. I will continue to focus on improving my health, getting fit and being happy. I won’t let myself go down the “what I hate about myself” thought path. I won’t compare myself to others because at the end of the day.. I am me.. and that’s enough! If I feel good on the inside, I will reflect it on the outside and what’s not to like about that?

Milan was great although not a city I feel any desire to return to.. unless of course it’s with my billionaire boyfriend and for shopping purposes.. but seeing as I lack that at this point in my life.. no more Milan for me!

I have only 11 teaching days left and then bam! holidays! I’m psyched about that and looking forward to a long rest! Everything is coming together so that’s fantastic!

I have been semi discouraged with the whole “getting fit and lean” thing in my life. Had a really icky week last week and felt like I hadn’t made any progress at all. So.. what’s a girl do when she’s feeling disgusting? Steps on a scale is what this girl does! And strangely but happily.. I’m down 15 pounds from when I started! I have lots and lots more work to do but at least something is happening! I guess I’m doing it now the hard but tried and true way of lots of veggies and lots of exercise and not a lot of sugar or white flour or beer!

So I might not be the skinny bitch I was planning on being in three weeks but I’m feeling really good and making slow but steady improvement. This is all quite encouraging and something I can live with!

And with that.. I’m off!

a long weekend with travel plans! I’m off to Milan in a few hours! Sight-seeing, shopping and eating awaits!

One of my favourite things to do is plan holidays! For some reason I find it totally invigorating and I love making plans and watching them work out. I may be a tad anal or OCD or something of the like but hey.. once I’m on the beach I totally calm down. I was great at planning SEAsian holidays and knew all sorts of tricks. Planning holidays in Europe took some getting used to but I think I’m all good now. My sister and I survived a two week travel adventure  and actually had a great time.

The bad news is that I was supposed to be going to SEAsia with some students this summer for a work project. We were all really excited about it and worked hard all year in anticipation for our trip. At the last minute the director pulled the plug and won’t let us go due to some sort of political situation. It was really dramatic cancelling the trip and there were lots of tears etc. I fought it and fought it and tried to come up with alternate plans but to no avail. I kind of knew that there would be no changing his mind but I had to do all I could for the kids before giving up.

The silver.. no gold lining in all of this is that he is actually letting us teachers go anyway.. at our own risk of course. So a free flight to SEAsia! We’ll go visit the work project for a day or so but otherwise we’re free to do all we want. Me and MB and two others.. although they’re kind of lame and so I think we won’t stay with them for long. It’s only a month away so I’ve been doing some mad planning because honestly.. reading hotel reviews is heaps more entertaining than writing report cards.. and as of late last night.. our whole trip is booked!

I’m quite psyched because I think I’m inline to head the trip next year and this year will be a bit of a practice run.. with an amazing vacation thrown in there.. and so it’s all worked out! And I get to go back to SEAsia! Oh how I’ve missed it!

Now I’m in the process of organizing our travel itinerary into a chart and then coming up with packing lists.. oh boy.. I need help! Beach time in less than a month!

Well the weekend did finally arrive and I’m sitting here in my nice little flat, drinking some very strong coffee and enjoying the quiet Saturday morning, while trying to remember what was exactly so awful about last week.

So I’ve been thinking that my whole “I need these 3 things to be happy” approach to life isn’t working for me. While keeping those things in mind.. I’m much more into trying to live in the now and for the moment and appreciate what I have at this point in my life. And when I really look around and put it on paper.. it’s all pretty fantastic!

I often find myself in the trap of thinking “when this happens or when I live here or when I finish this” and am always thinking about the next thing instead of what is going on now. I think this stems from how it was growing up.. “when I finish highschool, when I finish university, when I move out on my own..” and then this rather transient lifestyle has me constantly thinking “Where Next?” instead of just relaxing into the stage I’m in now.

So this weekend I’m taking a moment and enjoying all I do have…

A great job.. where I get to go to amazing places for free!

Great friends.. new ones here and lots of them scattered all over the globe

A life in Europe..

A supportive loving family in Canada…

Some great summer plans…

And my health.. yes I have my health…

So really.. that’s all a girl really needs! So I’m off to enjoy the Saturday and have fun being me!